Friday, November 12, 2010


For a change, I thought it would nice sharing some value system that kept me afloat in tough times. Who, in this world, does not face family, money, workplace, emotional or value crisis? Being in creative industry, the impact of any of the crisis is doubled. One, you have to forbear it, two, you have to still work through your right-brain on everyday level. However, here is what kept me afloat in my tough times and still kept me craving for the new world.
1. Circumstances don’t define me: There are always times when we start questioning our own value system, the very thread that we nurtured over the years, the very relation that we were proud of, or the very work which we thought we pioneered. On top of this, in these situation, you find that there is no one to speak to. No one to reflect on the situation and remind us of the values and beliefs. What kept me going is the belief in the belief. I am different from what my circumstance.

2. Circumstance don’t remain the same: It is easy to fall into a trap of ‘bad luck’ or ‘destiny’ in the times when everything is going wrong. But passing the bad times, with your head in place and keeping the heart warm through one-to-one dialogue with self has been my recipe. I firmly believe that talking to others about my bad times, is a waste of time and only generates ‘pity’ and nothing else. On the other hand, if someone has been bad with me at certain point of time, that’s not only because of his nature but probably the circumstances made him do so. It is better to move on rather than hankering the negative energies through the life.

3. Jisme jitna zarf hai, who utna hi khamosh hai: Rivers are shallow and noisy; the sea is deep and silent. Avoiding loud and vexatious personalities help reserving the positive energy for better things. I have realized that at times, it pays to be silent at the cost of being called names. One need not appear smart all the time.

4. WORK is THE friend, father and philosopher: When every things seem to be going topsy-turvy, having a work to do, the one you like, saves you from a million problems. Once your mind is drawn into your work, you really forget about the body pains, social dithering, financial mess or loneliness. A best thing is, your work is the only ‘friend’ who expects nothing from you in return, rather pays you for every passionate moment you spend on it.

5. Honesty & Gratefulness: Old adage, but as true today as it was a million years ago. Call it middle class virtues or call it ‘moral science lessons’, but it is the real stabilizer in the times of turmoil. It pays to prepare the mind on this track, rather than picking it up once the ship is shaken. It surely does not appear the smartest thing express gratefulness to a client for providing a great opportunity to work on a assignment (else he will ask for a reduction in fee), but in my experience, this would endear certain people for life and others may try to make a fast one on you…which, you can make out sooner or later and disengage.

6. Everything completes the loop: My good deeds will come back to me and vice-versa. A belief that I don’t need other’s endorsements for the ‘goodness’ or otherwise, resulted in a sort of defiance at times. But it did payback when I really needed it. Help actually came from unknown, unforeseen quarters. I remember I had purchased a 70-300mm zoom lens for Rs. 3000, second hand from a person in Delhi while working for a company. When I took to studies at NID after that, I needed money. I asked a local photo-studio to help me sell this to get some money to support myself during that time. A customer did turn-up but refused to a single paisa more than Rs. 2500. I refused to sell it at that price. Two days later the same person traced me at NID and handed over Rs.5000. I paid my semester fee with that.

Friday, June 25, 2010

So long

so long....
I have been shying away
draped in rags
humbled by the destiny
I am recuperating inside

When we departed
I was a busy trader
trading everything for better;
You said nothing...

When I drifted
I was a lonly leaf on water
floating lazily, aimlessly
with the flow
toward the fall...

When there was call
I was alone at sea
only giant sounds and tiny lives throbbing around me
How fearful it was!

Now that I am on my way back
with your sweet memories in my heart
there is some blankness in mind
an empty slate
to meet and write
another epic
all over again!!

How do I face you..
You the princess of dawn
in all fineries of golden glow
blind my eyes even at a glance
Leave alone coming क्लोसे.

Monday, April 19, 2010

search is on, hunt is not

cello player walks home
every evening, alone
lost in the thoughts of broken notes
lost in the lots and lots and lots.

young chivlery is all gone
gone is the haste of rising dreams
measured pace of wise is in
half you know but half is within.

great voices still call him aside
in the lonly part of concert ride
severe pangs are a part of him
pain free mornings are lost in the grim

brighter brighter is the call of the call
silent lover is pulling to the ball
cello is an old fashioned mill,
destined, one day, to be still

Who will unlock the white gates of guilt,
away from the ground but still on stilt,
notes of music are hard to die
hearts dry up, souls just sigh

great mournings are not my destiny,
concerts I play are, not my destiny
force my drift into the soulful oblivion
o great pope of yesteryears
beget me, and my womb in single apparition
as the morning sun begets the pearly dew on moist grass.